What 'Welcome to Holland' Means When Your Baby Has Hearing Loss

When we first got the news of our daughter's diagnosis, a few people recommended Emily Perl Kingsley's essay, Welcome to Holland.

Kinsgley wrote Welcome to Holland in 1987, as a vivid analogy for how it felt parenting a child with Down syndrome. She describes her experience, which has resonated with so many others, as that of planning a trip to Italy, but finding yourself arriving permanently in Holland.

It's now been about five years since we first heard about Holland. We still think about it.

She writes of getting past the initial surprise of not being in Italy, and learning to appreciate the unique beauty of Holland.

She was writing of her own experience, and of course the applicability of the essay will differ for each family's situation. We found the analogy helpful to keep in mind, especially in the early days.

As we've gotten further along, our particular experience is more like still arriving in Italy, but finding out you now work there. For us, it's like arriving for the usual tourist visit to the Coliseum, but being handed a Tour Guide badge, and being informed that you're expected to report tomorrow, and the next day, for years.

For us, it's like arriving for the usual tourist visit to the Coliseum, but being handed a Tour Guide badge, and being informed that you're expected to report tomorrow, and the next day, for years.

"But I don't know anything about the Coliseum!" you protest.
"You'll learn!" they exclaim.

And you do learn. The staff and other tour guides are very welcoming and take you under their wing. And, the Coliseum's history is fascinating. There's certainly worse things, and the time spent can be pretty enjoyable. Sure, it might be nice to simply visit like other families, but you'd miss out on the richness and beauty.

So, here we are, in Italy as planned, but reporting for duty. And it's hard now to imagine it any other way.

If someone just sent you "Welcome to Holland" and you're in the early days—hi! We were there too. The essay helped us. But we also want you to know that the metaphor shifts over time. What feels like a sudden detour can start to feel like exactly where you were always supposed to end up.

If you're newly diagnosed and looking for a place to start, we have a few resources that might help. And if you want to read more about the silver linings—the unexpected gifts of this journey—that's something we write about often at Daisy Bell.